@NotthatAdamWest: The scariest thing about survival of the fittest is that it means the idiots currently surrounding you are the best evolution has to offer.
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@AndrewNadeau0: Air Bud but from the perspective of a kid on the losing team that has to explain to his overbearing father he lost to a dog.
@GuyThe_Guy: You can learn a lot about a guy when you go through the pockets of his pants that are at his ankles in the bathroom stall next to your's.
@juliussharpe: The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal.
@WildeThingy: [dog social media] Post: *picture of a cat falling out of a tree* caption - "woof, woof, woof." Dog reading: hahahahahaha. *retwoofs*