@WineMummy: The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian.
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@shot_of_cabo: If you start a sentence with "Let me reiterate..." I'm gonna ignore it the second time too.
@Shen_the_Bird: [watching my life flash before my eyes] God: are you serious? how many times did you watch the office?
@SteveSackington: For fun, I steal my married friends phones & change my name to 'Brandy from the club' then repeatedly call them & hang up at 3am. #topahole