@DownFrontArtist: The secret to success is to surround yourself with people that don't know you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FloodyHippie: A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face.
@shiksaaa: My boyfriend said he had a Catwoman fantasy. I must have misunderstood because we both wore leather cat suits to bed last night. Awkward.
@TedBundybitch: When I tell people I don't speak English to get out of a conversation I randomly throw the word hemorrhoid just to bring it home
@WritePlay: *Dino-Jesus preaching to the dinosaurs* "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." *Asteroid crushes Earth* "Dammit Dad."