@david8hughes: [son's football game]
Other dad: which one's yours?
Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over
@elle91: I'm afraid my neighbors are starting to notice that I can't tell them apart but greet each of their dogs by name.
@awkwardphilippe: If you love someone, throw your earbuds at them. There's a good chance they'll be entangled in them and won't be able to run.
@LuvPug: Nobody ever mentions one of the greatest joys of being a parent is mocking your kids in an annoying voice, repeating what they whined about
@KimmyMonte: Can't believe no one told me that cows can't walk down stairs. Now I'm stuck with all these attic cows.
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