@HeyZeus666: The sign said 'Free Range Chickens'. So, I took some.
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@Laser_Cat: A fun prank to pull on a neighbor is to introduce a species of invasive grass into his lawn.
@sincir3000: Boss: tomorrow is pajama day at work. Me: I don't wear pajamas B: just wear whatever you sleep in M: ok, you asked for it.
@PostCultRev: DATING PROFILE: I'm looking for a partner in crime FIRST DATE: Okay, I need you to kill the mayor
@galiamango: I'm pretty terrified of the possibility that you guys might crawl out of my phone like that girl in The Ring.