@AlexRogaski: The squirrels on campus are getting bold. I was eating a pop tart outside and a squirrel came over and stole my credit card information
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@djdarrellripley: Her: What if this is our last day alive? Me: Then I should probably take some stuff off my computer...
@murrman5: [senses date is losing interest in me] "my uncle was the guy who did the rap in Red Red Wine"
@anjeanettec: Kanye West said being a rapper is like being a soldier or a cop but hey at least he didn't compare himself to Jesus. Oh wait.
@Up2Long: I just did my budget for June. If I don't buy food ... I won't need toilet paper. I think I'm on to something here.