@colegamble: The strangest thing happened. A coworker who always says, "Living the dream" was mysteriously stabbed 37 times in the neck with my car keys.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bazlyons: Turns out when you're asked who your favourite child is you're expected to pick from your own.
@Maxine12333: You can't go by good looks as not everything is as it seems. Remember The Trojan Horse, Snow White's apple and your ex.
@Kyle_Lippert: Avril: I want a divorce. You aren't a sk8er boi. So see ya later boi. Chad: This is how you remind me of what I really am?!
@PetrickSara: I refused to buy my 5yo a tablet, and now she's resorted to hand-drawing angry emojis on pieces of paper to express her frustration.