@nickthune: The struggle is real in NY #Snowmageddon2015 #snowpocalypse
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@Sean_Burgundy_: Most women love it when you play with their hair in public Their husbands not so much
@novicefather: My 3yo just told me that he loves to make babies and I don't know what it means but I'm terrified.
@TattleTSister: I can never understand why people act surprised when horrible things happen. Where have you been since birth?
@ibid78: Keep your friends close but your enemies closer. No closer. Become one with your enemy. You're now your own worst enemy. Don't freak out.