@SuadShamma: "The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That is Cole's Law."
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@T_N_Crumpets: Wife: I just wanted our honeymoon to be special. Me holding 2 Nintendo64 controllers: Me too, but you need to hurry and pick a character.
@ceejoyner: No human will ever understand humiliation like a dog who happens to run into a wolf while wearing a sweater.
@awordforaword: *men apologize for their weakness* *women apologize for their strength* *aliens probe neither*
@Jeffwni: [Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? "Ankhesenamun" - How do you spell that? "Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"