@PajamaBen_: "The Sun is dying. We need help" the scientists are speechless. Cool Dad kicks in the door & removes his shades "It's daylight savings time"
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@crayan9: I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over
@Tharin_P: Whoever you are, you can't deny that Harry Potter & the Fallopian Tubes sounds like a legitimate title. Don't act like you wouldn't read it.
@JediGigi: [1st date] Him: What do you do for fun? Me: I like pretending I'm someone else. Him: Wow? You do impersonations? Me: No, I steal identities.
@Fred_Delicious: Date - "I must admit, this is a really nice restaurant" Me - 😎 ... Date - "why did you say sunglasses emoji?"