@shanethevein: The tampon aisle is a terrible place to pick up chicks.
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@ericsshadow: I've made 2 terrible decisions in my life and they're both outside throwing rocks at the new neighbors.
@bourgeoisalien: I imagine one day my dearest friends will say at my funeral, "Wow. What an idiot. Who chokes to death on orange sherbet?"
@DothTheDoth: Dear diary, although he was a malevolent killer, the headless horseman was really well dressed. My emotions about this are confusing.
@afairiesweetear: the most challenging thing I've done all week is explain to a 4 year old where he was in photos taken 7 years ago