@squirrel74wkgn: The teenage boy cashier just told my wife that her tampon coupon is expired...and all of Target went silent.
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@JessObsess: It's so embarrassing when someone gets to second base with me and finds crumbs in my bra.
@LaniBeno: I ate the whole box of slim fast bars. So excited about how skinny I'll be when I wake up tomorrow.
@mean_crow: "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" said mommy bear. "Who hasn't" muttered daddy bear. "What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"