@squirrel74wkgn: The teenage boy cashier just told my wife that her tampon coupon is expired...and all of Target went silent.
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@freezingsheep: If I hear a bang when I'm driving I just assume I broke the sound barrier. Not sure where all these dents are coming from though.
@UnFitz: [speed dating] Me: Periods. Her: Huh? Me: Do they go inside the quotation mark or outside? Her: In the US or the UK? Me: Let's get married.