@TheDailyEdge: The Ten Commandments of Ayn Rand #XmasAMovie
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@BringDaNoyz: ME: [trying to console a friend whose house has been demolished] Cheer up, bulldozing is the sincerest form of flattery
@cervixsmash: Psychiatrist cannibal by day, pop star singing sensation by night Hannibal Montanibal
@david8hughes: How do you stop babies crying when you drop them? And don't say 'garbage disposal' because that's jammed now.
@TheTweetOfGod: I believe meat is murder, vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer.