@Bagyants: The term "Expecting a baby" implies uncertainty. Like we're almost sure it's a baby, but could also be a bushel of potatoes, who knows
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@Prof_Hinkley: [announcement over PA at work] "FREE TACOS IN THE BREAKROOM" *I walk there so fast the noise from my corduroys breaks everyone's eyeglasses*
@JaneBadall: I always leave the room when my son's imaginary friend comes to play. I've seen 'The Sixth Sense' and frankly, I'm not taking any chances.
@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the street screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.
@yenniwhite: "Don't play with your food," I say to a toddler eating crackers shaped like farm animals.