@VeganZebra: The time between the nurse leaving the room and the doctor entering is for exploring and trying out as many tools as possible
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@bkdcasey: I told an ex of mine that i wished she was more punctual. So, from then on, she added !!!!!!! to every text. I have picked some winners.
@pizzajaynow: Me: "Sorry I'm late. Car trouble." Him: "What kind of car trouble?" Me: "It doesn't go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."
@carlyken: [Michael Bay directing] "WE NEED A HOTTER CHICK" Teacher: This is your son's 3rd grade play "Oh right. I forgot. WE NEED BIGGER EXPLOSIONS"