@ObscureGent: The Titanic was unsinkable until Leo DiCaprio had premarital sex with Kate Winslett. Keep it in your pants until marriage kids.
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@Ygrene: Me (young, foolish): refrigerator may I have a few ice cubes? Refrigerator (old, wise): one or one-thousand, there is no few
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: *hits her sister* Me: Keep your hands to yourself. 5: Me: 5: *kicks* Me: And your feet. 5: Me: 5: *headbutts*
@KentWGraham: Drinking 8 to 12 glasses of water a day is good for you because you spend more time in the bathroom and less time at your job.