@MattShiney: "The top of my toliet seat is uncomfortable to sit on. I want it to feel like my living room floor" - inventor of carpet toliet seat covers
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@OzCricketFan81: Take my daughter once, shame on you. Take her twice, shame on me. Take her 3 times, and you're ruining the franchise.
@tigersgoroooar: Not to brag, but I just bought Eggland's best eggs from the grocery store. Their BEST eggs. I got them.
@withanewname: "Yes mam that'll be $1200" "Just to remove a cassette tape that's stuck?" "Ma'm, it's in your CD player"