@MattShiney: "The top of my toliet seat is uncomfortable to sit on. I want it to feel like my living room floor" - inventor of carpet toliet seat covers
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@ceejoyner: Crowds hated it but the best weapon for fighting a lion in the gladiator ring was a spray bottle and a firm "NO."
@MichaelTrying: * 50 pushups * * 100 situps * * Runs 3 miles * My exercise program is really going great since I switched to all asterisk actions.
@karencheee: Marrying my gay friend bc it's important for couples to have common interests and we are both interested in men!