@BackrowSeats: The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
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@Henry_3k: Next time at a public swimming pool just stop, look around & ask yourself: "Is there anyone here that I would want to take a bath with?"
@TheToddWilliams: [interrogation] COP: So you play the tuba do ya? "No, the violin" COP: Treble maker eh?
@ch000ch: CHIPOTLE MANAGER: we can't figure out why these e.coli outbreaks keep happening ME: [bathing in a tub of salsa in the back] ya very weird