@sixthformpoet: The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad
@Thynebear: [Talking w/Doc] The wife wants to try period sex "Seems unsanitary to me" I dont think u understand- *wife bursts in wearing medieval armor*
@putyoursisterd1: Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer.
@OtherDanOBrien: [Bruce Wayne enters Gotham Orphanage] I'll take your finest orphan. "Sir, we can't just give-" Here's $50mil. "Do you like boy acrobats?"