@sixthformpoet: The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
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@thejessigirl45: Does anyone else bring a bag of clever disguises to the grocery store in case there's a wine sampling booth that day?
@OrvllShrednbchr: 10 years ago, as a joke, I told everyone I was giving up sex for Lent. Haven't gotten laid since. Well played, God.
@Brentweets: CNN got really excited about the #TransAsia plane until they found out it's not missing so now they don't care.
@VenusRockHobbit: If I ever noticed you waving frantically from inside a burning building I would totally wave back because I'm polite.