@kelkulus: The US Defense budget is 40x bigger than NASA's. It's surprising we actually went to the moon instead of blowing it up.
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@jackmackenroth: People are always impressed to find out that I got my PhD at 17 but anything is possible if you work hard enough and lie.
@MarkoESQ: Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
@michaelianblack: Kim Davis becoming a Republican, dealing a huge blow to the "intolerant homophobic religious fundamentalist" wing of the Democratic Party.