@funnyordie: The Walking Dead or the Grammys. Do you watch the bloodthirsty monsters ready to eat each other to survive or do you go with Walking Dead?
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@RitleySammich: I just saved a whole bunch of money on my car insurance by hacking into State Farm's main server and deleting the 4 DUIs.
@BatmanOffDuty: *buying a dog* Is this a good dog? "Oh yeah, very good dog." Do any tricks? "No, I'm clean, selling dogs now."
@PLATINUM2000: Me: I killed another one, boss. Mob boss: You don't work for me. Me: I volunteered. Mob boss:*Looking angry* Me: I'm gonna get back to work.
@GreenishDuck: Before Google, people had to go out in the alley and yell "WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE MONKEY FROM ALADDIN?" until they got some answers.