@funnyordie: The Walking Dead or the Grammys. Do you watch the bloodthirsty monsters ready to eat each other to survive or do you go with Walking Dead?
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@Jfficial: People laugh cause I've got 3 cats, but come the next Ice Age, when I speed past you on my cat sled, who'll be laughing then?
@truegritrumble: HER: You look so nervous. ME: *nervously* HA. I'm never nervous. HER: You're sweating. ME: *just freaking out* That's bravery moisture.
@ThaJawn: Me: *trying to be cool* Scotch Bartender: Preference? Me: *nervously* hop Bartender: Bout time! *breaks out sidewalk chalk*