@WetzelGeek: The washing machine broke so I had to wash my undies in the river. As a bonus, 3 catfish floated to the top afterwards, so dinner is served!
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@YesImMatt: When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?
@amydillon: My son just demanded to be changed into different pajamas for breakfast. Thanks, royal baby.