@shutupmikeginn: The Whole Foods next to this movie theater is perfect if you want to sneak in your own snacks, but don't want to save a lot of money.
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@Oshungurl: It's confusing for me too, but I don't need your money so you're going to have to be a nice guy if this is going to work out.
@TheRealRHB: Parenting Tip: Place fake present under tree with unruly child's name on it and when he misbehaves toss it into the burning fireplace
@awkwardphilippe: [5 mins after being stranded on an island with a group of people] Me: who do we eat first
@MrAdamBez: *gets sentenced to 25 years in prison* *opens twitter app* *looks up* *being released*