@jergarl: The Wizard of Oz is my favorite children's book that teaches us that it's ok to steal shoes from someone as long as they're dead.
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@ojedge: [train] MAN EATING NUTS: "Want one?" [offers bag] MAN IN TRENCHCOAT: "May I have… seven?" [coat rustles excitedly]
@HannahFlores01: Accepting water from a salesperson is a sign of weakness. *faints from dehydration*
@imteddybless: something that I miss about being a child is people asking me what my favourite shape is. adults don't do this.it's a rhombus. u don't care
@Dawn_M_: If that cute guy doesn't approach you at a bbq, he is probably just intimidated by how many sausages you're eating.