@lianamaeby: The woman seated next to me wanted to know if San Francisco is near the water. I replied, "What's water?" so she wouldn't feel stupid.
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@djdarrellripley: After we got the divorce she let me have everything. Except the jewelry, and of course something to keep it in. I call it "the house"..
@delusions_of: Bring cheeseburgers to a knife fight. No one wants to stab someone who gave them cheeseburgers.