@PhilJamesson: The word "brewery" sounds like a drunk guy slurring a better word
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@TheBoydP: Guys! I just heard when women ask "Does this make me look fat?" they know we'll say no. What they are really testing is HOW FAST WE SAY IT!
@stevevsninjas: Daddy will my cockatoo go to heaven? - Heaven is a place of serenity and joy, right? *nods, wiping tear* - Then Mr. Shrieks won't be there.