@recoveringbapti: The word "Diputseromneve" may look ridiculous, but backward it's even more stupid...
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@KyleMcDowell86: [Elephant at a party] Nice piano! [me] thanks [Elephant] What are the keys made of? [Me] Uhh.. [Rhino appears behind me] Tell him Kyle
@WilliamAder: Co-worker playfully snapped my suspenders and now everyone in the office knows my safe word.
@Parkerlawyer: People that don't tweet for months and then show up like nothing happened... Was it jail? I bet it was jail.