@Eightinchgoat: The word "methamphetamine" looks like it was written by somebody using it.
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@Book_Krazy: *In the elevator* Guy: Good morning ladies. You two going down? Me: No. We're just friends Guy: ....
@Dschnoeb: Just saw The Imitation Game & it was FILLED with historical inaccuracies about World War II. They don't even mention Captain America at all.
@JessObsess: ME AS A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR: I signed you both up for Tinder *1 week later ME: You still want a divorce? THEM: OMG NO THAT WAS HORRIFYING
@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out.