@highwayhooligan: The world is full of people who just need to hug a cactus.
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@krisv_723: *Gets called into HR Me: What was I accused of now? HR: I haven't had any sexual harassment claims against you lately. Is everything ok?
@OVO_Ty15: Do we really have to hear Adam Levine talk about how he used to have acne problems? That poor guy.. how'd he ever survive.
@SteveSackington: For fun, I steal my married friends phones & change my name to 'Brandy from the club' then repeatedly call them & hang up at 3am. #topahole