@highwayhooligan: The world is full of people who just need to hug a cactus.
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@Ristolable: What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts.
@stephenjmolloy: [3rd date] Kate: You wanna come back to mine for coffee? Ian: Sure! Kate: Have you got any condoms? Ian: Do you not know how to make coffee?
@murrman5: wife: it looks too tight me: it's fine, let's just go [ten minutes later paramedics have to cut my turtleneck off after I pass out]