@Just_Lee_: The world is full of terrible people, but there's none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym.
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@LorieGZ: Found $12 bucks today! Well, it was in my daughters purse, but I figure she owes me at least $50,000 by now.
@Smethanie: My mom asked if my kids are driving me to drink with the snow days. Told her I've been drinking at home, stupid kids can't reach the pedals.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: Omg all the kids are asleep! I can finally sit and relax! Dog: Yeah. About that. *pukes all over living room*
@tchrquotes: There's no actual reason to believe that eating this entire bag of Doritos will make me feel better. That's why it's called faith.