@jnrbtsn: The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
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@iTweetNShit: $2000 date? We better be sitting at the table with Jay-Z and Obama at the same time while eating dinosaurs & sippin' on virgin Indian tears.
@Marlebean: It's like the only thing my kids learned from Snow White is that fruit is horribly poisonous.
@Jenny4ashley: [leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? "Oh wow, how embarrassing" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*