@IamEnidColeslaw: the worst part of senior prom was definitely dropping my date and my grandfather's ashes going EVERYWHERE
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@KalvinMacleod: CAR GPS: turn left PHONE GPS: turn right C: who was that? ME: just a friend P: just a friend? ME: wait C: make an illegal U-turn ME: babe
@RocketRankoon: "So, do you play any instruments?" Me: *slaps knees for 30 minutes straight without breaking eye contact*
@RoosterMustache: "My cat just got ran over" You cant end a sentence with a preposition "My cat just got ran over lol"
@carlyken: "I'm a social activist. No seriously. I just changed my profile picture to a rainbow." -everyone on Facebook