@chicnlil1: The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses..
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@jessokfine: When I see a guy with a tooth pick in his mouth I'm like, wow. look at that guy. he ate most of a tree.
@MeatyPunk: girl: tough guys are hot Me: *hawk lands on my bare arm* I have a gauntlet I just never use it *hawk gnawing on my shoulder* I love this
@LindaInDisguise: I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying "I gave you one yesterday."
@SamuelHLowe: - You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma'am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?