@sofarrsogud: The worst thing about turning up at the ER drunk at 4am is explaining to the nurse that my 9 year old drove here.
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@WheelTod: My boss has a rather shrill phone voice. I once spent 20m talking to him, before realizing it was actually someone trying to send us a fax.
@gorrdano: I'm always ready with my mallet when sewer workers poke their head up from under a manhole.
@GuyEndoreKaiser: Yes, curling is silly and basically janitorial work, but that guy's gonna have a gold medal, and all you'll have is your joke about curling.
@rickolantern: When my goldfish starts acting like a jerk I remind him that his bowl is microwave-safe