@trevso_electric: The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
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@truegritrumble: CAR SALESMAN: How can I help you? ME: I’m looking to immediately lose money on a terrible investment. CAR SALESMAN: That’s my specialty.
@ChrisHallbeck: This package of bacon says it's "naturally hardwood smoked" as if they just happened across a bunch of pigs next to a forest fire.
@Dutch_50: What's the name of the phobia for a fear of opening your mailbox because there might be a wedding invitation inside?