@TheCatWhisprer: The year is 2016. Dads go out for a vape pen refill and never come back.
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@whostrevors: A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the "mid air" beach picture :(
@Alex_N_Chains: I think at this point, a pterodactyl egg has better odds of getting laid than I do.
@PJTLynch: [At bar] Me: As a joke, I’m gonna pee my pants Wife: Seriously? You’re a married man now M: Right...sorry. I’m gonna pee “our” pants #BT140