@TheCatWhisprer: The year is 2016. Dads go out for a vape pen refill and never come back.
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@volthetime: If I ever start with 'this one time I went jogging.....' I am not telling the truth.
@Beerhaze: My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards.
@jsteele3966: People who wait 3 hours to respond to a text "LOL" should be punched in the neck. Your not fooling anybody. You weren't LOLing that long.
@david8hughes: [baby sitting] "Hey, yeah it's me. No, everything's fine. Just a quick question about his legs." "..." "So how many legs did he have?"