@hipstermermaid: The year is 2030: All corporations have merged and every night before bed you say a prayer to your cable company.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Those guys who came by the office to ask for protection money kept breaking things. Like I'm going to pay people that clumsy to protect me!
@WilliamAder: A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep.