@hipstermermaid: The year is 2030: All corporations have merged and every night before bed you say a prayer to your cable company.
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@girl_a_whirl: [Interview] "Tell me your weaknesses" Me: Well, I.. *wife busts in* He's a mouth breather, leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take out th
@TheTweetOfGod: Celebrity dumping an ice bucket on himself to raise money? Cute. Humanity dumping an ice cap on itself to raise sea levels? HILARIOUS.