@ibid78: The year is 2072. Numbers have lost all meaning. It could be 3247 for all they know. "It's 5486," says one guy, but it could've been 8 guys.
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@UNTRESOR: The inventor of the USB cable died recently. They're still trying to figure out which way to put his casket in the ground.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I'm way tougher than you. Wife: I gave birth twice without an epidural. Me: So? Wife: You called in sick for an ice cream headache.
@jus4golf: I once went out with a girl that said she was flexible like a Slinky. Two flights of stairs later, I decided she wasn't.
@thejoelstein: 4-yr-old son gave smartest answer ever to "How do you know if something is art?" "People tell you."