@BadaBinge: There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body and some people manage to get on every one.
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@Chumpstring: interviewer: for your most recent job you put down “i cleaned out my car some” me: that’s right interviewer: and for a reference you put down “my friend jarret” me: he was there
@abbycohenwl: *pulls motorist over* COP: Are you high? MAN: If I were high would you look like a breathing tree? *one leaf silently falls from cop*