@alispagnola: There are many different theories about why humans even need to sleep but I'm pretty sure it's to charge our phones.
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@EndhooS: [Calls boss] I'm gonna be late... "How late?" *Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you...
@radstunts: have u ever just taken your goth girlfriend out on a date but it gets dark out and you lose her in the parking lot
@RykWeston: The girl at the Baskins-Robbins thinks Leonardo da Vinci was "in that Titanic movie". Now my ice cream tastes like stupid.