@david8hughes: There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going.
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@ohen39: wife: I am having an affair me: *handing menu back to waiter* I'll have the affair as well
@rpbateman: Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I've been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically.
@captainkalvis: me: i'd like to make a reservation for 2 at 6:00 pm employee: sir, this is a McDonald's me: oh my bad. i'd like a McReservation for 2 at 6:00 pm employee: perfect, see you then