@BW_Jones: There are unfortunate spelling errors, and then there's this.
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@ericonederful: If you've committed to pulling a door handle that says push in front of people you have to rip the handle off. You can't let a door own you.
@InternetHippo: BOSS: You ok? ME: Yeah, why? BOSS: You have a sign that says “2 Days Without Being Annoyed” [maintaining eye contact, I change it to 0]
@Cheeseboy22: My problem with McDonalds is I can't go retrieve my kids in the play tubes because I can't fit in the play tubes because I eat at McDonalds.