@weinerdog4life: There is a button on my microwave that says "super clown" and I do not ever push that button
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@Khanoisseur: Preferred way to connect with me (ranked most to least): 1. Text 2. Twitter DM 3. Email 4. Phone 5. Climb through my window 6. LinkedIn
@inikoblue: Although I'm not exactly overjoyed with my single status. I thank God I'm not married to the obviously married guy hitting on me.
@aka_fatman: Hamburgler: Success! Look at this amazing haul of these McDonald's burgers! Hamburgler's Mum: *sobbing* Your brother is an architect.
@TheTimmyToes: me: how much per hour? babysitter: $15 me: okay here's $2.37 million see you in 18 years