@weinerdog4life: There is a button on my microwave that says "super clown" and I do not ever push that button
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@WildeThingy: Me: so I'm delusional? Doctor: yes. Me: and you're a delusion? Doctor: yes. Me: I want a second opinion. Pink Dragon: you're delusional.
@thenoahkinsey: *forgets Netflix password* *sends email reset* *forgets email password* *sends reset to backup* 20 resets later: *opens 2nd Netflix account*
@BGH70: "Which one is you?" - My favorite response when someone shows me a selfie with other people in it.