@weinerdog4life: There is a button on my microwave that says "super clown" and I do not ever push that button
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@topaz_kell: "Your bathroom has better lighting for selfies" wasn't a good enough excuse for my surprised neighbor getting out of the shower. So uptight.
@PopSlapFunk: When 13 witches collectively fart in a cauldron and quickly cover it with a lid... *lowers shades* ...Dutch Coven.
@maisonwithapen: *shitting pants, crying, missing my shoe* yoga instructor: you need to leave me: oh is this not child's pose?