@GonzoVice: There is a huge body of evidence to support the notion that me and the police were put on this earth to do extremely different things.
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@10InchesPlus: A TV show where customers get to hear what employees said 10 seconds after they left the store.
@juanadog: Saw a sign on the highway that said "Kill or Injure a Road Worker: $7,500" but it doesn't tell me where to pick up the money...
@RuinMyWeek: She says talking to me is like talking to a kid. Therapist: And how many years has this been going on? *holds up 6 fingers* This many
@michaelianblack: Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody.