@Hormonella: There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
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@Ophelia_808: [stunned, eyes lock, a smile exchanged, and I knew it was kismet] *hands cash to lady Ma'am my baby isn't for sale. I SAID I'LL TAKE TWO!!
@markhoppus: Parents, talk with your children about the importance of saving frequently so they won't have to restart at the beginning of the level.
@4handfuls: Her: What are your passions? Him: Meditating and gourmet food & drinks. Narrator: Which was code for sleeping, Cheez-its, and Capri Suns.
@truegritrumble: ME: I'm gonna plug my Twitter handle. WIFE: Please don't. ME: I'm gonna do it *walks to the microphone in front of the funeral*