@abhorrent_wife: There is no amount of money I wouldn't pay for a remote control that could walk itself over to me from the other side of the room.
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@Tormny_Pickeals: *passes thru suburbs* roll up ur window, son. this is a bad neighborhood. this is where ppl who comment on newspaper articles live
@wildethingy: Could a murderer do THIS? *lawyer points to defendant doing cool tap dance* I remind the jury that only guilty feet have got no rhythm.
@iYoungKhalifa: Saw a man at the beach screaming, "SAVE ME..I'm drowning". I instantly uploaded his pic, captioned "1 like = 100 prayers" on facebook..!!