@abhorrent_wife: There is no amount of money I wouldn't pay for a remote control that could walk itself over to me from the other side of the room.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Manda_like_wine: I walked up to my 9yo and said, "How goes it?" He looks up at me and says, "God is history's greatest serial killer."
@tiReynard: We all wear masks. I'm about to trade in my 'polite coworker' mask for my 'dude you don't want to meet in a dark alley' mask In 3...2...1