@ThugNstuff: There is no "i" in "stupid."
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@KalvinMacleod: 911 what's the emergency "Please help, I made too much spaghetti" Relax sir, we've all been th—*spaghetti starts coming out of the phone*
@BackrowSeats: Some people might find a grown man talking to himself strange, & it's probably the couple sitting next to me.
@LuckoftheDraw86: Me: *taps one-night-stand on forehead* Unfollowed. One-Night-Stand: It doesn't work like that... Me: *taps him on forehead again* Blocked.
@thatUPSdude: How is "Shark spotted swimming off the coast" news worthy? Now if a shark was seen walking off the coast that's different.