@kylekinane: There is no such thing as an antique car. An antique car is a horse.
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@shegotagronk: Pretty cool that there's no law saying you can't name your kid Squidward if you want.
@Reverend_Scott: Ugh. "What's wrong honey?" My bad knee is acting up again. *knee robs a gas station*
@gerryhallcomedy: My french toast just surrendered to my german sausage. Breakfast is weird at my house.
@jonnysun: [ouija board] "helo??" ＹＯＵＲ… ＳＰＩＲＩＴ… "shh its working" ＷＩＬＬ… ＡＰＰＥＡＲ… "omg" ＡＦＴＥＲ… ＴＨＩＳ… ＡＤ… "dude why didnt u pay for this ouija board??!"