@kylekinane: There is no such thing as an antique car. An antique car is a horse.
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@TheDarkSideCEO: Optimistic Thought of the Day: You are always 1/3 of the way towards having a threesome.
@kwirkyKerri: Shout out to girls that have a relationship with prisoners. At least they always know where their man is at.
@sarahjeong: the turkey takes his mask off it's edward snowden obama groans, it's too late to unpardon him now