@philco816: There is no way Hollywood could remake Scream for millennials because, none of them would answer the phone.
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@chuuew: ME: Mint choc chip ice cream, pls. I got my own cone [places it on counter] EMPLOYEE: This is a traffic cone? ME: You must be new here.
@PaulyPeligroso: You can't die, man! Not right now. Not on my watch! *lifts dead body and pulls watch put from under it*
@reallyshitpost: DOCTOR: I have bad news MAN WHO WOKE UP FROM 5 YR COMA: I don't mind as long as I get to see my favorite gorilla from the Cincinnati zoo