@tazsme: There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
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@MartaEffing: Therapist: Do you project your problems onto others? Me: Don't flip out, but I feel like you're asking me that to make yourself look smart.
@AndrewNadeau0: DATE:I have 2 kids ME:I love kids! D:Good! They- M:Wait, the human or goat kind? D: M:*Trying to contain excitement* Is-is it the goat kind?
@TheTweetOfGod: CNN just wondered if I'm sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I'm sending them to punish you for CNN.