@tazsme: There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
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@jonnysun: i asked my mom why she was crying and she said because shes choping onions which is sad becuase as a young child she was adopted by onions
@PerfectPending: Spoiler alert: The fairytale ends with the prince at work, 3 whiney kids, and you are cinderella AND the wicked witch.
@TheMichaelRock: My 8yo knows exactly how many hours are left until Christmas but can't remember to flush the toilet.
@Miltgen: *Job interview* "Im gonna need you to pee in this cup" *hands boss full cup* "Let's start the interview" *boss just sips it the whole time*